Helping People Deal With Loss

Last week we had several tragedies in our community in the days before Thanksgiving. On Tuesday night an 11-year-old girl was killed crossing the street right in front of her mother in a hit and run accident on Main Street. On Wednesday afternoon a 15-year-old boy was killed crossing a major road on his bike just two miles away. Two college students on their way home for the holiday were killed in a car accident. Such horrible tragedies intensified by their proximity to Thanksgiving. Some of my students were friends with the 15-year-old boy who was killed, so I thought it would be appropriate for us to take some time as a youth ministry to talk about how we deal with loss. Here are some thoughts.

We all live with the reality of loss. Whether it's a family member or a friend, at some point all of us are going to deal with the pain of losing someone. In those times our faith is put to the test. Faith can be understood as putting all of my weight on. What or Whom are we putting our weight on during times of crisis?

The end of life is a reality all of us will face. Whether through death or the return of Jesus, this life as we know it will come to an end for everyone. (Job 1:21; Ecclesiastes 3:1-4)

It is OK to grieve. Having questions, doubts, fears, frustrations, even anger are all normal during times of loss, and we need to give people permission to grieve. Hey, even Jesus wept. (John 11:35)

Griveing is not a lack of faith. Christians do not grieve as those who have no hope, but the DO grieve. (I Thessalonians 4:13)

Go to God. A look at the Psalms will reveal a guy (David) who wrestled with God, who poured out his emotions and frustrations, but he did it in the right way. He didn't hit things or cut himself or vent with rage on other people (that we know of), he poured out his heart to his Creator. (Psalm 23:4)

Receive from God. He knows what we're going through and in His love, He did not leave us to walk through tough times alone. We need to help kids receive the help and the grace that God has provided through His Holy Spirit and through His Church. (Isaiah 53:3, Hebrews 2:18; John 14:26; John 15:26)

Trust in God. Help students know that even when things don't make sense and they don't have all the answers, they can trust in God because His very nature is love and He is trustworthy. (Isaian 55:9; Proverbs 3:5; Philippians 4:6-7)

The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live. When our time comes to an end, we are going to be asked whether we were known by God and we are going to be judged based on whether we were living for His purposes. Students should be challenged to evaluate their lives and respond to the good news of salvation through Jesus (Hebrews 9:27; Matthew 25; II Corinthians 6:2)